I've been thinking lately of Pandora... and no, I do not mean the planet in Avatar (which I have not seen). I mean the first mortal woman according to Greek mythology. A brief history regarding Pandora. Her name means "all gifted" because after Zeus created her, each god gave her a gift. She was modeled on Aphrodite, so she was beautiful beyond words. She was given charm and grace to match her beauty. She was gifted in spinning and music and dance. She was told by the god of the sea she could never drown. Zeus created Pandora as part of a revenge plot, which, when you think about it, means she didn't have a lot of hope of things going according to plan. She was to marry the brother of Prometheus, whom had angered Zeus when he gave the earth the gift of fire. As a wedding gift, Hermes gave Pandora a beautiful, ornate jar... and promptly told her she must never open it, under any circumstances. Pandora assured him she would not, but then, just to make her life a bit more challenging, Hera, Zeus's wife, gave her curiosity (Hera was kind of a bitch).
Pandora fought the urge. She tried very hard to keep her word, but curiosity is a wicked temptress, and Pandora was taunted by the very sight of the jar. She hid it, hoping it would be easier out of sight, and then, finally, her resolve cracked. The urge to know what was in the jar, overwhelmed her.
She dug it out of hiding, and opened it... and a foul smell was released. Into the air were released every horror known to man. Greed, theft, pestilence, cruelty, jealousy, famine... and on and on.
Then, after a time, something... good... emerged. Hope.
I first read the Pandora myth as a freshman in high school. I was a lonely, awkward girl. I had plenty of friends, but few of them attended the same school... and some were verboten - deemed a "bad influence." When I read about Pandora, two things struck me. One was that the myth says "jar" and not "box." Two, was that on some level I identified with Pandora. Oh, I didn't have the beauty or the talent... but I knew what it was like to allow curiosity to make you do things that you later regretted. I also knew that "hope" was invaluable. In those days, hope was all I had.
When I attended the private high school that would radically change my life forever, I was pleasantly surprised and found it fitting that it was on Hope Street. This is something I have never forgotten, because it was at that school that I found hope again, after having lost it for a while.
I have a need to know. Like Pandora - and her Christian equivalent Eve - this thirst for knowledge has sometimes caused me a great amount of trouble. I am tempted by curiosity, by a burning thirst for more information. In many ways, this is a healthy quality. However, it can also lead to events that cause me pain, insecurity, jealousy, recrimination and sorrow.
Still, I somehow am usually able to find the hope in these situations. Usually, I can see that there is a chance for growth, an opportunity for me to become a more complete person and a better wife and girlfriend. I see the chance for learning, and I am unable to turn from that, even in my worst pain.
So, when life is full of the horrors the ancient Greeks told us Pandora is responsible for releasing, I remember that Pandora also was responsible for giving hope. I cannot fault her, this legendary first woman, for desperately needing to know. She was given all the gifts of the gods, after all... and when you look at the gods, they were deeply flawed. They were selfish and jealous and vengeful. They were beautiful and creative and passionate. Despite being the "perfect" woman, Pandora was really just as ordinary as any woman for whom curiosity has bested. She was just as extraordinary as the gods who created her.
I am not one to let go of hope easily. I suppose, when possessed with a great deal of curiosity, that is a good trait to have. I suppose, when living in a world as cruel and inexplicably unfair as ours, hope is the only thing to push us forward.
Life perfect would be boring, anyway... so as long as there is hope, bring on the challenges. I will take that hope and find a way to conquer them, or make them tools to use to my advantage. I will fight, and I will fail... but I will never give up.
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