Day 22

This is inspired by the Brad Paisley song "Letter To Me."

Dear Katya,

This is yourself, in the future. You've given up the name Katya, but you still have nicknames and pen names. Juliet is your favorite of these.

I'm sure you're skeptical. It's in your nature, though you aren't yet skeptical enough. So, here's a little something to prove it's me.

"Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name..."

That should get the job done.

It's a good guess that Jason has recently dumped you again. I'm sure you're frustrated and hurt, but let me tell you this... you will soon understand him better, and soon you're gonna realize you deserve more than he'll ever be able to give you.

Life has been challenging for you. I wish I could say that it gets less challenging, but the truth is, you have so many obstacles to overcome ahead of you. Just know that they make you a stronger person. You will learn to stand up for yourself, and you will learn to walk away from situations and people that hurt you.

There's a man you will meet. I won't say when, but suffice it to say, you'll know when you meet him. I know you have a huge crush on someone else right now... but he's not the right choice. I do wish you believed enough in yourself to see that he is completely into you, but you're not ready to take that step yet. Someday, you wiil be ready, and you'll put it all on the line for this amazing man. You'll dance in the rain and cry in the rain, and in the end, you'll stand with him on a rock in the desert and become his forever.

Life doesn't get easier just because we get older. Nor do people stop being dysfunctional just because you move far away from them (and you will). It won't matter, though... your life is so full of love that comparatively speaking, everything bad that happens will seem less awful. You will have someone to hold you when you cry.

Fantasies you've barely dared to imagine will come true for you. You will write a book - one you actually finish. Oh, and you're going to use a computer for that. I'm serious. I'm sure you're laughing, but it's true. Even more, you're going to rebuild your computer when your motherboard dies. I'm pretty sure I can hear your snorts of laughter from the past... but it's going to happen, thanks to that guy.

There will be this girl. You'll meet her in a totally unexpected way, and she will become part of the life you share with him. It will sound strange to you now, but you will love her... and so will he. She will teach you that love does not have boundaries or limits, and you will love him all the more because of her prescence in your life. She will give you gifts that have no value because they transcend tangible goods.

Your heart will break in ways you never imagined possible. What you've gone through with Jason will be laughable (and plenty will laugh, believe me). You will realize you never knew what love was... and your poetry will improve because you'll have someone - something - real to write about.

This man will help you piece your heart back together... if you let him. If you don't hide inside yourself and try to pretend, as you so often do now, that everything is just fine. It's okay to let him see you cry. He loves you. He will do whatever he can to make you smile through your tears, and he will succeed. But when he doesn't, when the pain is just too raw, he'll just hold you and love you through it.

I know it sounds like a pipe dream to you now. Just keep your heart and mind open. You will stumble, you will fall, you will hurt... and dreams you've had your entire live will die. When you graduate in June, you will get a book by Dr. Seuss called Oh, The Places You'll Go! You will love this book, and you need to remember the wisdom it has to offer you. You will need to remember that sometimes you lose... but that it is possible to win even when that happens. You can fail from lack of trying, or you can fight for what you want. Even if you fail, at least you've put in the effort. At least you have the scars to prove you fought for what you wanted.

Give Jean and Barbara hugs. You already know how important they are... you have no clue how much you will value what they've given you later on, though.

That baby sister of yours... kiss her sweet head. She will grow up so fast. Too fast. You will love her like your own. You already know this, even if it scares you to feel that way about her. She will always be one of the most important people in your world. She will be able to count on you to love her, even when she fails, and she needs that.

Remember that life is not something you can plan. It's not a route on a map you can plot out in advance, or plug into a GPS (you'll know what that is someday). Life is similar to a road trip, though. You can plan to go certain places, but then something comes up... and detours can lead you places you never dreamed. Sometimes, you'll still try to get back to the original destination... but other times you will realize that what you've stumbled upon accidentally is actually so much better than what you'd planned for yourself.

Take a deep breath and dive in. Life is never easy, but you have so much love to look forward to in the future.

Love,
Juliet